Writing When You Just Don’t Want To

2006 has been an extremely challenging year thus far.

Among close friends and family there have been three deaths over the past four months. The latest was last night. My best friend’s father passed away in his sleep. The first was a friend of the family who died very suddenly and too young. The second, and most devastating, was the passing of my mother-in-law. My own father has been receiving chemo treatments in his battle against leukemia and my mom came dangerously close to dying from a botched outpatient procedure this past weekend.

It is hard to retain a positive outlook when life is filled with worry and grief. It’s tough dealing with the day-to-day aspects of life let alone thinking about my writing. Our writing group hasn’t even met for the past couple weeks. In the lull between disasters and crises, I have been working on outlines for two story ideas and character creations. One is an action/suspense story and the other is a historical fiction.

Needless to say, focusing on my writing has been hard. On the other hand, when I have some down time to think about everything that has been happening I get the urge to write about it. I am not making much progress with my stories, but I am writing in my journal about what has been happening. I write how I am dealing with it and my observations of how my extended family is dealing with it.

I find that writing it out helps to organize my thoughts and gives me a better perspective of these life events. Getting it out on the page seems to relieve some of the stress. I guess you can say it is therapeutic.

With all that has happened, I feel the need to get together with family and friends as often as possible, create new experiences, follow my dreams and create something lasting and worthwhile. This is why I know in my soul I need to be a writer and novelist. I have stories to tell and things to say – or as Robert Frost so eloquently put it, “… miles to go before I sleep”.

My First Published Article: Part 3

This is the third installment of an entry I made to my private blog from March 23, 2005, about the first article I ever wrote for publication.:

Bad Writing vs. Good Writing.

As you will recall, I told you about my psychotic episodes of trying to write an article for Iron Horse magazine. I also told you that at one point the writing wasn’t going well. I knew it, so did the editor and he let me know it. It was because I was playing head games with myself. When I finally said, “To hell with the fear”, I focused and totally immersed myself in the task. I sent it in and this was the editor’s response:

—————————————————-
From: “Jeff”
To: “Werner”
Subject: like comparing apples to oranges…Werner


–WHAT the FUCK happened?!?!

This story is about 1,000 times better than the first version you handed in! VERRRRY good reporting, I must say! Kudos to you!

I haven’t actually tackled editing it yet, but gave it a thorough read-through and did some polishing up on your grammar, etc. Everything looks pretty good. Might have some questions for you to answer over the next few days, but that’s par for the course as I pick apart each story, so fret not.

If I make it past our Apr. 15 ship date, we are def. going out for drinks!


congratulations again,
Jeff,
Editor In Chief
Iron Horse Magazine

—————————————————–

As you can imagine that first line scared the shit out of me, but the rest of it made me so happy that I barely slept last night. I am working with Jeff, to be sure that we make the June issue – so he can buy me those drinks!

I want to do this again. You get to make new acquaintances and learn new things. Once I got past the fear of doing the interviews (three of them), I really started to enjoy it. It’s fun asking direct questions and getting people talking about their passions.

I hope by June I will be able to let you know that the magazine, with my article in it, is on the newsstands. I think I’m more excited that I am finally going to be a published writer, with my first clip, than I am about being paid for it …

… NAH!

That’s just screwy!

My First Published Article: Part 2

This is the second installment of an entry I made to my private blog from March 17, 2005, about the first article I ever wrote for publication.:


I submitted the completed first draft article about Chopper Works Inc. to Iron Horse magazine. Jeff, the editor, said the article was boring and read like a manual. That was pretty much the tip of the iceberg. There was no hook, it had structure problems, a lack of dialogue and missing information. I knew it might need some work, but I didn’t realize it was that bad. When I re-read it with a more critical eye, I agreed with Jeff.

I stared at that article for a long time. I then tossed the entire thing. I took out my notes and interview tapes and started over. When I was done, I re-wrote it again. I went through it over and over and polished it as much as I was able. I felt better about the article this time, but I wasn’t sure if it would be good enough for Jeff. I worried that I may have overlooked something critical. But, with a deadline looming, I sent it to him.

Having a photo-journalism degree, Jeff didn’t like my pictures either. Luckily, the owners of Chopper Works Inc. had a CD with professionally photographed bike pictures on it. They burned me a copy and I FedEx’d it to Jeff.

The article is now in its final edits. As this is my first attempt at writing an article for publication, and knowing that it will be read by a wide audience, has been a real head game for me. I always wanted to be a published writer, but I never realized how tough the mental aspect of it would be.

Some hurdles I needed to cross was to write a story that is interesting, well structured and formatted correctly. The biggest hurdle though, is the psycho soap opera that takes place inside my head. I’m stunned by all the irrational fears that crop up. I have to fight hard to overcome them.

I know the fears are irrational, but I still let them influence my life. I wanted to back out of this assignment when I had to do my first interview. I wanted to quit when Jeff kept hounding me to see the article – which I knew wasn’t going well. I really wanted to quit when he read my first draft and tore it apart. I wanted to quit when I had to do follow up interviews to fill in gaps and dig up new info.

You know what – these fears are just dumb (but I still have them). The interviews went really well. The brothers that run the bike business are open and friendly. The senior editor, Jeff, has 15 years of experience and has interviewed over 1,000 celebrities and notables. He can be harsh, but very fair. Considering I had no writing clips to show him when I started, Jeff has taken this newbie to article writing under his wing and is giving me a HUGE chance. He takes the time out of his busy schedule to provide me with guidance and to show me what I need to do. I can’t begin tell you how much appreciate this.

The fear of my responsibility to the article and to the editor still makes me want to run away from it. However, I made a promise that I would not let him down. I hate when promises are broken, and I REALLY hate to break a promise I make to someone. This fear/hatred of disappointing someone I made a promise to is more powerful than the fear I have of being responsible for the article. So, I push through the fear.

I couldn’t blame Jeff if he never has me write another article for him again. However, if he does, I will be timelier with my submissions and do a better job with the first draft. Moreover, with this experience under my belt, I’m sure the fears will have a duller edge the next time around.

~W~

My First Published Article: Part 1

This is an entry I made to my private blog from January 25, 2005. It is in reference to the very first paid article assignment I ever queried … and got! I found it as a listing for a new magazine on Writer’s Weekly. Actually it was a re-release of the old Iron Horse Magazine with a new format and new owner.

I queried the editor to do an expose’ on a high-end custom bike shop in my town (Chopper Works). I added the shop’s website link to the query. The editor liked what he saw and gave me the go ahead. Throughout the article process he coached me in what he was looking for in the article and came up with a few questions I had not considered. It was an invaluable experience. The editor was blunt, but a straight shooter and very patient.

I did the interview with the guys at Chopper Works. It was great.

At first I was really nervous … no actually I was scared shit-less. You know stage fright scared, the kind of fear people have when they have to give a public speech. I was looking for any excuse not to go and do the interview. I often get this sort of fear when I try anything new. I’ve found that if I push through the fear and do it anyway, it turns out to be a good experience.

My nervousness disappeared as soon as I entered the shop. The brothers are about my age and we had a lot in common. They gave me the grand tour of the show room and the shop operations. They let me take all the pictures I wanted. All very cool. They had me sit on one of their $65K bikes, and a bike they built for Sully Erna (the lead singer of Godsmack). If it had been spring, they would have let me take one their choppers for a ride…bummer.

As soon as I got home I reviewed my notes and played back the interview tapes. I created an outline of the article with the more interesting points I want to highlight in the article. Now I need to flesh out the article with the information I gathered, do some follow up for questions I’m sure to have, then put it away for a few days. I will then go back review it, re-write it, and polish it until it shines. Only then I will send it to the editor of the magazine. I’m working on this article as a lynchpin to many other articles – hoping some of them involve travel.

My Favorites: WritersWeekly.com

I have been a big fan of and a subscriber to Angela Hoy’s Writer’s Weekly for eight years now.

Angela is a former news reporter from Texas, now living with her family in Augusta, Maine. Angela is a true writer’s advocate firmly believing that all writers should be paid for their writing. Her approach is blunt and to-the-point, yet professional and personable. Every week she shares a bit of her family life with us – to a dedicated following. Her husband Richard produces articles about markeitng tools and techniques every writer should be using.

In addtion, there are the Ask the Expert, Letters to the Editor and Success Stories sections. Whispers and Warnings provides writers with a heads up on publishers and agents other writers have dealt with or are looking to deal with. Best of all is the Markets and Job section. WritersWeekly individually seeks and recieves approval for each listing they hand pick. This is where I found my very first paid writing assignment.

Through the newsletter, I have followed along as Angela went from being a single mom struggling to run a fledgling online business, to getting re-married to Richard, watching her children grow and mature, their travels and travails, homeschooling, having her fourth child, Max, four years ago with a fifth now on the way. I watched as their business grew and grew and is now a success.

In addtion to WritersWeekly.com they also own and operate their own publishing company and book store called BookLocker.com http://publishing.booklocker.com/ & http://www.booklocker.com/

Give Writer’s Weekly a look and subscribe to the newsletter. Tell Angie, Werner (her neighbor from New Hampshire) sent you.

~W~

Goodbye Mr. Kunitz

Although I’m completely inept when it comes to writing poetry, I enjoy reading great works written by great poets. One of them was former poet laureate Stanley Kunitz, who passed away on May 14th at the age of 100. Stanley was one of my favorite living 20th century poets. He had a wonderful ability to weave words together beautifully. He now moves onto legend.

If you have a (free) subscription to New York Times online – they wrote a very nice tribute to Mr. Kunitz.

You can also find a short obit at Poets.org:
http://www.poets.org/poet.php/prmPID/2

Here are a couple samplings of Stanley Kunitz’s work:
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15203
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15202

What I’m Reading Now – 5/15/06

Sometimes coincidence seems like fate. My brother-in-law, Michael, and I were brainstorming ways to improve our writing, our level of production and developing the fortitude to submit our writing for publication. I told Michael of an author I admire named Po Bronson, who co-founded a writing group called The Grotto. It was started to get creative people together to work on their own projects yet experience a sense of community with other creative types. So, I suggested we start our own group so that we too can work alone together.

The next day, I received the June edition of Writer’s Digest in the mail. And wouldn’t you know it – Po Bronson is on the cover. In the magazine is an interview with Po Bronson, written by Maria Schneider. The article covers how Po interviewed some 700 people for his latest book Why Do I Love These People? (Random House). The article was good and having enjoyed Po’s past work, I went out and picked up a copy. So far I am thoroughly enjoying it.

Additionally, Mike and I are meeting today to discuss the details of our little writing group idea.

Why Another Writing Blog?

Writers are generally insecure. We always feel the stories we write are never good enough: Never good enough for ourselves, never good enough to let other people read, and never good enough to get published.

We love to create through our writing. We love the process, the craft and the art of writing. It consumes us. I am passionate about writing. I spend more money on books every month than I do clothes for myself. I practically live at Barnes & Noble and spend as much money at Amazon.com. I read tons of books and magazines about writing, I like talking in person to and corresponding with other writers online. I enjoy the whole concept and environment of the writing life. And I know there are others out there like me.

The purpose of this blog is a little selfish. I am using it to create my own full time writing lifestyle. I’m using it to overcome my fears, get and keep me on the write track and develop the courage to let other people read what I write. Most of all, I want to be able to complete manuscripts and submit them for publication.

In addition, I hope to build a community of like-minded writers, inspiring and motivating each other to pursue and complete our writing goals and realize our dreams.

About Me

I’m a late bloomer coming into the writing life. Although I’m no kid (far from it), I’m no old fart either. I live in the historic town of Derry, New Hampshire with my high school sweetheart wife and three children. My two daughters and son are all teenagers. Anyone who’s been there knows what that’s like and for those of you not there yet – just wait … heh-heh-heh.

Like almost every writer, I started keeping a journal and writing short stories and plays as a kid. As an adult, I continued to make entries in my journals sporadically, write essays and begin – but never finish – dozens of stories. I love the process, but never felt my work was good enough for anyone else to read (sound familiar) – even when I was told I had talent for it.

Taking a continuing Ed writing course, my teacher was the senior editor of a regional newspaper. She was a brutal editor. She humbled everyone in the class. I learned tons from her. She would hand me back a paper with more red ink on it than black and tell me that it was good. By the end of the class, she suggested I consider a career in writing.

Similar situations played out over the years but I never believed them. No matter what hobbies or interests I pursued I always, always came back to writing. Occasionally, I will go on a writing binge and do nothing but write or read about writing to the point I get sick of it – swearing I’ll never bother with it again. After a little while I feel the pull and begin writing once more.

I participated in my first NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, in November of 2001. I have yet to make it to the 50K mark, but the sheer act of writing on a daily basis inspired me and gave me the courage to write for publication. In 2005, I contacted the editor of a motorcycle magazine. He liked the idea I presented, and decided to take a chance with me. I submitted the article and it was accepted for publication. I became a published and paid writer. I wrote another article and fillers for some local publications, all of which were published.

I enjoy researching and writing magazine articles. It provides me with great experiences and a welcomed paycheck. In addition to article writing, I want work toward writing personal essays and novel length stories for publication. My intention with the JAWS blog is to see these goals to fruition.