I feel so lost, I don’t know what to do…
That’s not right. Inherently, I do know what to do!
I need to take ACTION on what I already know.
The direction in anyone’s life comes down to CHOICE.
I often choose to do nothing – that is why my life is unfulfilled.
I need to change what I choose to do.
I choose to take ACTION on what I already know. I make my choice, focus on that choice and take action on it – every single day – until it becomes my new reality. It will replace the reality I have now – the one I have chosen for so long.
My conundrum: I want to be a writer for a living, or at least make my writing provide me with a living income. The problem is the more I learn about writing the more I put it off. I’ve always been one who was more apt to do something if I didn’t know too many details about it – and figure out the rest as I go along. I know this isn’t a practical approach to learning most things, such as piloting a plane or performing open-heart surgery, writing isn’t as complex as that, but it is hard work.
To me, it’s like learning to play an instrument. Not all musicians can read musical notes, but they can play damn well. They learn by doing, by learning from other musicians, and experimenting on their own – constantly expanding their experience and knowledge. That’s what writing is to me. I’m no classically trained, disciplined violinist practicing four to six hours a day, working for the Boston Pops, playing the equivalent of high literature to an assembly of snobbish people.
No, I’m more like the kid that picks up an old guitar sitting forgotten in a garage and plays around with it until something resembling music begins to emerge. Then take a few lessons from somebody with a little more experience that can help me put together what I’ve learned on my own to create something simple, but in tune. Then find others like me, helping each other – teaching new cords, new sounds, and new songs. Then we practice what we learn and then we practice, practice, practice. After a while, we start playing music that other people actually want to hear.
I grew up reading adventure and horror fiction. I loved it. I know that I have a few stories in me that I’d like to tell. The problem is that I’ve been reading mostly non-fiction for many years now, and find myself choosing non-fiction subjects over fiction time and again. I signed up with a writer’s forum to get me to start writing a fiction novel. I have the idea, and know where I want to take it, but don’t have the motivation to do so. I keep coming back to the economics of it. I spend all my time writing a book, with the possibility that it may never get published. I didn’t think like that ten years ago. I just used to write. On top of that, I often find reality far more interesting and exciting than works of fiction.
I realize that writing fiction allows you to play god. You create your own world, you create the characters, and you control what happens in the story. With non-fiction you are mostly reporting or recording things that have happened. Unless of course, you are the one that was involved in the drama, adventure, or story.
I entered into the forum with all the intention of writing the book. I even went through the trouble of pleading with the moderator as I got a two-week late start, and she had closed further application. She bought into my pleading, and allowed me into the two-year novel writing class. I’ve done some work, but not nearly as much as I should be doing – like right now.
Late last summer, I also signed up and am paying for a non-fiction writing class through the Writer’s Digest School, but again I have done little or nothing to make any progress there. It’s really not all that hard. Choose – Focus – Do. That’s it!
Posted by WFMeyer 
